So.
I used to have four months to decide whether or not I would choose to stay another year in Gwangju. That was yesterday. Today, I have one week.
Due to circumstances out of our control and changing situations expected from our school, we were asked to make a decision by the 12th, so that our boss can go to her boss and try to make sure we can be offered the contract.
What I'm saying is, we have to say "YES", so they can say "Maybe"...
Or we say "No" and go home in April.
And we have to say one or the other in a week or sooner.
Now, if we say YES and they say OK, then by the end of the month, we are granted new apartments that we've wanted for a while. (The boy and I love each other, but we also would love some elbow room)
And if I say NO, what then? What would I do next? I thought I'd have way more time to figure this out.
No, this is not a rhetorical question.
By the photos and post you put out for us to see, it seems like you are loving life there and getting the growth and challenges you where seeking!!! I would love to see you, but if you don't feel like your path has ended there then put in for another year and if they approve it then awesome and if they don't then it is time to move on. And no doubt in my mind you will have new strength and confidence to create a new adventure!!
ReplyDeleteOh, Weo. Such a big decision.
ReplyDeleteWell, sort of...
I mean, I haven't heard you say anything about that gig being a one-shot deal. So, I assume that, should you come home in April, you could probably return to South Korea to teach again in under a year's time, if you wanted to.
And, that's if you wanted to. You aren't anxiously waiting to leave South Korea, it doesn't seem, but, then again, tomorrow's not April. April is, in fact, over a half year away. So, it's quite possible that, by the time April rolls around, you'll be quite ready to move on. I'm not suggesting you'll be tired of the city and displeased with all of the people, but any time we leave any place, there are things we will miss about that place, or people whom we will miss from that place. Do you not miss me? I miss you.
So, you'll miss people, but you'll have memories, and pictures, and, thanks to this wonderful technological world we live in, you can arrange to stay in touch with those you're closest to over there... perhaps another teacher, or that bar owner, or your students... ongoing communication with them could even help improve their English.
I miss you, and mom misses you, but I wouldn't ask you to come home for my benefit; it's not my place. You are a free spirit, wandering through the forest of life, pausing but for a moment to reflect upon a grassy field or serene mountaintop and, perhaps, to chat briefly with another butterfly about going to a local fast-food establishment, then flitting off, to see what there is to see...
...Or perhaps a goldfish... swimming in a watery world, in hopes of seeing just how big that world is... (It's hard to be for sure whether you're a big fish in a small pond, or a small fish in a big pond when you haven't the appropriate volumetric data, of course.) I wonder from time to time whether goldfish, in fact, are as forgetful as science claims. I like to think that, perhaps, goldfish are merely quite positive-natured, allowing themselves to see things anew each time they encounter them. How wonderful that must be, to be able to pleasantly experience old familiar things as if exploring a foreign country for the first time...
I ramble. Actually, I'm quite good at it, at times. Especially if there's no particular place to go. So, I will try to cut this somewhat short. I would like to cordially invite you to visit friends and family in these great United States... think of it as a new adventure. Try our Cajun cuisine, here in Louisiana... I bet you'll like it. Go to Texas and try some REAL barbecue, so you can better compare it to the version served in some other country. See the Grand Canyon... I hear it's actually quite... well, grand. Visit a native American reservation and learn about the people we displaced when we got here. Go spelunker in a cave in Tennessee. Waste away again in Margaritaville. Try taking some photographs of America through the eyes of discovery... of wonder.
Then, think on what you want to do next. Do you return to South Korea? So soon? Or, do you go to Ireland? Australia? Japan? England?
Your argument to teach in Korea was that you wanted to see the world. That's a very curious argument, as now, when you pose the question as to whether you should stay or go, the question continues to offer counsel, but in favor of moving on. (It's probably worth pointing out that this particular reason is strictly statically dynamic. It is unchangingly in favor of change...)
I, most sincerely, hope that these, my words, as poorly chosen as they may be, in some way, small or large, do offer, and, in fact, give, you, my youngest sister, some clarity, or, at the very least, new considerations, in this matter that has you at a crossroads, so to speak.
And, alas, you said this is not a rhetorical question, yet all that I seem capable of offering is rhetoric.
Missing you much and wishing you all the best,
-Robby